Confident. The Whole Package. Fine. Sweet. Independent. Sassy. Fit. Straight forward. Not overly emotional.
The list of requirements for the “perfect” woman go on and on.
For years, I internalized this endless list and allowed it to be the measuring stick with which I judged myself.
I wanted to be the perfect woman. To be THAT woman.
The Journey Sounds Cute. But, It Was Exhausting.
It was exhausting to try to make myself fit into the perfect box.
Books and articles I read in popular magazines about dating sent the message that in order to “catch a man,” I needed to have it all together.
I believed that and began to feel like I wasn’t worthy of love because I certainly did not have it all together.
I quickly learned that list of qualities of the “perfect woman” I’d created in my head was IMPOSSIBLE to live up to all of the time.
Can you relate?
My Freeing Revelation: Release The Pursuit of Perfection
It took me many years to come into the freeing revelation that PERFECTION IS NOT A PREREQUISITE FOR LOVE.
Ask me how I know…
Well, thanks for asking!
God, the author of love, says this in his Word:
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ~ Romans 5:8 NIV
If God, the author of love and the perfect lover, loved us WHILE we were still sinners, then our perfection was never a requirement for his love!
Because of this example God has already set, the same is true for us.
God’s Love Frees Us. *Mic Drop*
We don’t have to be perfect to find love. We don’t have to be perfect to be loved.
We don’t have to be perfect to attract a man, and we certainly don’t have to have it all together to be worthy of love. God is WAY too good for that. (Can I get an Amen?)
Instead, we simply have to rest in his love, knowing that he’s called us daughters and that we are his beautiful creation. He loved us first. For all that we are – the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, and the imperfect.
His love gives us permission to love ourselves and others with that same pure love.
It shows us how to look at the woman in the mirror and remind her that she’s worthy.
Here are 3 ways to relieve the pressure to be the perfect woman.
1. Remind yourself that nobody’s perfect.
The next time you see that gorgeous woman on social media who seems to have it all together, show her some love, and then remind yourself that nobody’s perfect. We all have insecurities, quirks and things we struggle with. (Spoiler alert: the perfect man doesn’t exist either. ) And that’s okay!
Though we are not perfect, God is, and he’s created some incredible, wonderful people who can and will love us for EVERYTHING we are.
2. Embrace your own imperfections, and give yourself permission to be your most authentic self.
It’s okay to wear a bathrobe to take out the trash. It’s okay to go out of the house with no makeup on. It’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to have embarrassing moments.
The next time you find yourself feeling inadequate, don’t allow shame to overcome you and make you feel undesirable. Instead, consciously choose to think loving thoughts towards yourself. They might sound something like this.
Wow, that was so embarrassing! It doesn’t define me though. I’m still fabulous!
Owning your whole self and your flaws is sexy!
It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive to be the best you can be, but it does mean you don’t have to sweat the small stuff. You have permission to be human.
3. Remind yourself of how God sees you.
The God of the entire Universe loves you dearly. He says that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made, a handcrafted creation by the potter himself! The next time you’re feeling down about yourself, remind yourself of how God sees you. Here are a few verses to get you started!
“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.” Matthew 5:14 ESV
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:13 – 16 ESV
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27
