Tinder is crazy. Dating on Tinder is crazy. Online dating apps are crazy. Heck, DATING is crazy. Am I right?
Between trying to get someone to take you on a proper “date”, to working to get someone to define the relationship, to being forced to confront both the beauty and the crazy in yourself, dating in the 21st century is no joke.
Before I got married, I used to think to myself, “is dating really worth it?”
Are all these menfolks out here wilding’? Are there any “good ones” left?
I’m here to tell you that the answer is YES. There are “good ones” left and true love is still very much alive. I rolled my eyes a bit as I wrote that because I know it sounds so cliché. But, it’s so true.
I am a Christian woman and I met my husband on Tinder more than 2 years ago. Let me tell you, responding to his “super like” (ya girl was looking fireeeee in her profile photos) was one of the best moves I’ve ever made. He is my Boaz. My forever love. My perfect fit. The fulfillment of years of prayers and honestly, everything I’ve wanted and more.
I was not expecting to meet my husband on Tinder of all places! (Quick note: Don’t put God in a box. He works in mysterious ways!)
Let me tell you, I had an ENTIRE process for dating on Tinder to protect myself and my heart. A litmus test, so to speak.
A set of guidelines that helped me to minimize shenanigans with people who were no good and increase my chances of meeting someone who would be willing to take me on a date. And pay for it! Is that too much to ask these days?
Well, my husband did all that and more, honey. And I’m so happy I took a chance on love by putting myself out there and trying dating on Tinder.
Here’s a peek into my guidelines for weeding out knuckleheads and finding the “good ones” on Tinder.
Don’t respond to anyone who sends you a one word message such as “hey” or “hi”.
If all someone has to offer is “hi” or “hey” after reading your bio and seeing you looking gorgeous in your profile photos, it’s probably time to keep moving. With all that you have to offer, someone who’s really interested in getting to know you will likely have something a lot more interesting to say than just “hi” when reaching out to you.
Trust me, I speak from personal experience. I found that people who put genuine effort into in their first message to me by mentioning something from my bio, complimenting me, or sending a few messages (ie: Hey! How are your doing today? You’re gorgeous!), were WAY more likely to be worth my time.
I know it can be hard to resist responding to these messages, especially if the person is super cute! But, wait for the effort. You deserve it!
If someone brings up sex immediately, assume they’re only interested in hooking up.
I found over time that jumping into a conversation about sex with someone I barely knew rarely ever ended up in the romantic date I was looking for. Personally, it made me feel cheap and like the person was more interested in learning about my nether regions than what my middle name is or when the last time I cried was.
I sincerely believe that on the road to love, some things should be reserved for people who’ve earned the right to know.
In my opinion, nobody that I don’t know online has earned the right to know what I like sexually or what my sexual experiences have been. I’d highly recommend hightailing it out of the conversation if someone brings this up early on in conversation.
Have a limit for how long you’re willing to wait before being asked out.
Messaging is cool. But, I was trying to see SOMETHIN’. Hear SOMETHIN’. Oh yeah, and make sure I wasn’t being catfished.
From my experience, if someone is really interested in meeting, they’ll let you know early on. People interested in messaging for long periods of time may be doing the same with several other people, or really might not be on the same wavelength as you when it comes to dating.
If it’s been more than 2 weeks and he hasn’t asked to meet you in person, it’s probably time to keep it moving.
Don’t ignore the red flags.
People should be trying to put their best foot forward to show you who they are. If someone does or says anything that seems to be a clear red flag, go on ahead and leave the message on read. Believe me. Save your time. Red flags via messaging can be God’s way of telling you, “Don’t spend time or energy here.”
Have fun!
Truthfully, I believe dating should be fun! You can date according to your values by staying true to yourself and setting boundaries around what you are and aren’t willing to do. Try not to take yourself too seriously. Allow yourself to have fun and get to know some of the wonderful people out there.
When you go on a date, the person on the other end may be your future husband, or they may not be. Either way, you can have a really fun time and learn more about yourself! A love story written by God can look a lot of different ways. Guard your heart, be wise, and enjoy the ride!
Have you ever wanted to try a dating app? I want to hear from you! Comment below to share your stories.
